White Bankomat and How to Boost your Self Image for Around a Dollar a Day.

First off... isn't Bankomat such a cooler term than ATM? In Russia, they are all called Bankomats and I really liked it so I have tried to use that term ever since... it hasn't caught on in America yet... which is weird because I am popular as fuck (just ask my mom) and world renown for my knowledge of ATM... fuck, Bankomats...

I have been looking into my move to Southeast Asia for quite a while now and among the normal things people look for like Population, Internet Connection, Cost of living and whatnot, I have also been looking for women.

I am single, it is a new place, I haven't gotten laid for a while... several reasons to look for these things in the area I decide to move to. Maybe I can hit the ground running and maybe have someone I can take out on a date... or several women for different dates, depending on if I decide on a city or a province...

I have been talking to several nice girls who are kind and reserved and recently a few who are less reserved... which is nice in its own way. I don't mind either type but the less reserved are easier to talk to... I recently had one girl stroke out on me because I said she would like my beard... she didn't know what a beard was and assumed I was talking about my dick. I finally calmed her down through a long explanation. Talking to super reserved girls can be a bit tiring dancing around what I'm trying to say... even if it is completely harmless... which most of the time it is unless initiated by the other party... then it's on, the conversation gets all hot and awkward! Giggity.

I had been mostly talking to girls on OK Cupid. It is free for almost everything on the site which is awesome for cheap bastards such as myself. I haven't done too bad on OK Cupid, especially after changing my address to the Philippines so I could see Filipinas and they could see me. Some girls have asked me why I would change my address to the Philippines while I am still in America because then I can not see American girls... I have to explain to them that since I am planning on moving to The Philippines, why would I look for American girls, especially since pretty much anywhere in the world is easier to find girls you dig than the states... with maybe the exception of Israel... which makes my heart sad because good God IDF girls are just dreamy... sadly, they know that they are hotter than the sun and I haven't heard about the Israeli guys being as much of Cockbiting Fucktards as many Russian guys are. Don't get me wrong... I have some great Russian guy friends but when it comes to Russian guys, fuck men are from mars women are from venus... its more Russian Men are from Wal-Mart and Russian women are from Rodeo Drive. As for myself, I think of me as more a Target/JC Penney Big & Tall section... if they sold more t-shirts and had a deep self-hatred.

I am getting off the point... so I am talking to girls from OK Cupid and it is not going too badly but I have to do a lot of searching and writing which is fine but time-consuming. I do have a pretty good response rate though... especially if I compare it to results in the good old USSM (United Socialist States of Mediocrity). There are many girls in the states who are pretty amazing but for one reason or another nothing happens on those fronts, usually either I am in the friend-zone or I just don't dig them. I don't have a lot of time for girls in the states anyway with my work schedule but even when I didn't, the dry spells were frequent... on a pretty long one right now.

I have been searching for everything I can find related to my move,  I have been reading a lot of Blogs and my favorite one recently is Single Mans Paradise (NSFW... unless you can have nudity and talk of cream pies at your work... then by all means). The guy has had similar life experiences to me and his blog is funny and entertaining if you don't mind reading about loads of sexual content, which has never bothered me in the least. And, like me, he doesn't always want to hook up with hookers but rather the girls that like him for himself, somewhat. He is single and from the states which he refers to as Sexual Prison... and I can't really argue with his reasoning. He is always talking about how much luck he has with women on Asiandating.com a site that encompasses all of Asia which I am absolutely down for because I do not intend to stay forever in The Philippines.

The Asian Dating site is free to join but you have to pay to really be able to do anything besides show interest in people which immediately turned me off of the site but I figured I would try it out without paying in order to see if there was any interest in tubby, tattooed, bearded honkies.

Now, as we are talking about Asia... I will try to use some Asian terminology... if messages were water, I had fucking Typhoon Chopski hit my mailbox, I had 55 messages within the first 24 hours... I have been on some sites for YEARS without a single message I didn't initiate. This was a new experience for me... I thought to myself, "Self, this must be how ladies on these sites feel... getting pummeled by emails... interesting... and then I thought... surely this won't keep up.

It did.

When it got over 100 messages I decided to pay for the site in order to read what all these women are saying to me. So I pay and start reading all these messages. Much to my disappointment, I didn't get the female equivalent of dick pics in my inbox but the sheer numbers made me feel good. OK, so maybe it's not how women feel but it was certainly new for me.

I have been inundated with emails from very attractive girls all over Asia, it is awesome. Unfortunately a couple of them, a smaller number than I expected actually think of me as their caucasian bankomat. One experience caused me to write this today, Simply because under normal circumstances I wouldn't have replied to her and am not exactly sure why I did but it certainly made my day far better.

I was sitting at my shop today, hoping someone would hand me some money to buy this place. I could then really buckle down on my plans to get to Asia and since I joined this site, maybe actually have some real life dates. I will have to cut myself back on any kind of fun when I get there because my first order of business if earning enough money to be able to afford living there. I will have a small cushion to get myself through but I need to start earning money before or as soon as possible after I arrive. I would like to work on earning money now but both of my jobs, while offering a little free time are also full of interruptions every few minutes and not conducive to learning anything new. Now cutting down on fun is actually the wrong term, if I have any fun there I will have upped my fun quotient by a large margin... so maybe the correct way to say it is I can not allow myself too much fun when I arrive.

I am sitting in the shop, dicking off, reading up on moving and firing off emails to girls that I like so far and the pictureless girl writes me.

She says hi, I say Howdy.

She asks how my search is going, I tell her it is ok.

I tell her that her search may be better if she had, at least, one pic on her profile.

She asks me if she can add me on Skype and she will send me some pictures there.

I give her my Skype name and wait.

A few minutes later I got a notification that she wanted to talk on Skype. I accepted her. I said Howdy again and she immediately sends me a pic...

Good God, I love boy shorts.

Another pic right on the back of that one...

Dat hair doe... and what seems to be a lack of top.

Then she tries to call me and I answer the phone, not even thinking of it being a video call and I don't hear anything so I hang up.

Personally, I think she looks pretty hot and I tell her as much...


Then another pic... Lying on a couch, in boyshorts, topless playing with a necklace... looks good enough to eat...

I describe this pic rather than show it because I don't know what the policy on nudity is here and more importantly, that nudity is mine... fuck you, you're lucky you got to see the first two pictures...

She calls me again and I hit video and she looks even better than the pictures.

I thought I had hit the lottery...  she is in a lacey little red baby girl top and black panties

She looks really good.

Apparently she doesn't have a mic so the messages come start showing up:

Her: Can you see me, babe? (My thoughts: Fuck yes I can see you and seeing you is good... stop writing shit, it is covering up my view)

Her: I can make you cum (My thoughts: WOOHOO!... let me close this shop real quick-like)

Her: I can give you a good show babe ( My thoughts: I would like that... unfortunately, I'm not paying shit, this call will be over in a few seconds...)

Me: I would love that

Her: I can make you cum and do all that you wants, babe (My thoughts: wants... well she speaks better English than I do Tagalog... I mean.. that sounds nice)

Her: and I can promise to always be here for you (My thoughts: She is about to ask me for money... you will always be here till the money train dries up...)

Her: but I will ask u a lil help babe (My thoughts: Fuck... well there goes my good time... I wonder how much time she saved not writing out "you" or "little")

I didn't respond and then an amazing thing happened... she just started dancing around.

She pulled her boobs out of the baby doll top and played with them and kept dancing. She then runs her hands down her sides and rubs all over herself till her hands lightly touch around her pussy. Her hand disappears under her panties for a couple seconds making, at least one of us, happy to be alive.

That didn't last nearly long enough as her hand came back out. I am thinking, this has got to end now for sure... I still haven't said anything...

It didn't stop.

I am praying I don't get any customers as she starts playing with her panties... she uses them to rub her pussy and she slides her panties down some... pulls them back up, dances around a bit more and then takes them off... I am seeing her at a profile view right now... her ass is pretty nice in and out of her panties...

She is now naked except for the baby doll top that is still showing off a gorgeous rack with pretty pink/tan nipples that I did not expect as Filipinas tend to have tan/brown nipples, this girl is just full of surprises.

This gorgeous creature, who is making my day... shit, scratch that, my week, faces the camera and shows me every bit of her. This not responding shit is working to my advantage.

Then she throws caution completely to the wind and gets into my favorite position for a nice lass to be in. The view I would have right before she sits on my beard. It was a gorgeous site... I almost bought a plane ticket and said fuck the planning.

It made for a good day and a long ass blog post but finally, it was over.

She hung up just before 6 minutes of me being enthralled by this vision of beauty... who wanted to part me and my money.

The call stopped thus badgering for money began... I am white and, therefore, a Bankomat for certain girls.

I held on strong,  through all the amazing and possibly illegal things she offered me.

She told me she was from Cebu when I asked her while trying to steer her away from my bank account and actually have a conversation.

She was persistent, until finally I told her, "NO WOMAN, I WILL NOT PAY, I AM POOR!"

She says that I can visit her at her new house... I hear its nice...

Just kidding, I didn't give her any money but not for lack of trying. We still talk pretty often and outside of always needing money for something, she is a decent girl. Not exactly marrying material with the constant need for money (though she would still be cheaper than an American girl) but she may be fun to hang out with... maybe some 80's movies and chill. Cebu is, after all, certainly within my realm of possibility with me moving around overseas.

Since I began this post a few weeks ago, I have been hit up by other cam girls... some cute, some not so much but it is still a small portion of the emails that I get.

Treat yourself, make yourself feel good and join a primarily Asian dating site, sure, it is like opposite world compared to what you are used to but that is why it is nice.

Phones, Women and Cannibalism

Women of the world, when you accept going on a date with someone, please do that someone a favor and stay off your phone. This goes for guys too but this happens more often with the fairer sex in my experience.

I was prompted to write this story of misfortune based on a blog I read earlier today. He had a bad time with his date in Vietnam, This was my worst night in St. Pete due to a date.

My brother and I had just arrived in Saint Petersburg, Russia for the first time after a few days we had just spent in Moscow. We check into our single room in the Golden Garden Hotel. There was a cute girl at the counter checking us in and after getting scammed in the Moscow train station before the trip to St. Pete it certainly made, at least, the end of a pretty crap day a little better. Pretty girls have that effect. You are welcome for that pearl of knowledge, ladies.

St. Petersburg is, to date, my favorite city in the world. It has great architecture, gorgeous women, loads of things to see and do and gorgeous women.

We realized after the first night or so that getting a single room was a mistake. I realized it more than my brother as I am the less attractive, more shy of the two of us. He didn't have too many problems finding girls to touch him inappropriately in our single room while I was banished to sitting down in the lobby of our hotel. Neither of us knew the city very well by this point so I wasn't really into getting lost, at night, alone. He had to sit in the lobby too but not quite as often.

The glass half full of me spending several hours in the lobby of the hotel was that I was able to chat up the girl in the lobby that checked us in when we arrived. Her name is Анна (pronounced Anya) and she was cute, sweet and unable to run away... just the way I like 'em.

Anya and I got to learn quite a bit about one another and we kept in contact after I went back to Iraq. This is September 2006. The best parts of my life were 10 years ago... suck it... I am working on getting back and making new, fun memories.

My brother and I decided to go back to Russia on our next trip we were able to take from Iraq and that is exactly what we did. 14 February 2007. It was great, I had a hot girl I could date and touch inappropriately and when she had to go home, I would go to hang out with my brother at Golden Dolls. Golden Dolls is the superb Strip Club we found on our first trip and being the decent guys we are, we made a lot of friends there.

This trip we rented a 2 bedroom apartment so we had no lobby sitting. Our daily schedule was, for the most part, Wake up, see the city/go out on dates, end up at the club until it closed down at 0600, go have coffee and Tiramisu at the Kofe Hauz (Кофе Хауз) until 0800-0900 and go rack out at the apartment.

Anya would come over,  hang out, cuddle up, watch movies, sit on my beard... you know, the best things in life. We had a lot of fun in our little apartment, one of my brothers ladies came over and cooked us dinner since we had a full kitchen and all. Chris and I would be lazy and watch 24,  Supernatural and Russian Married With Children when we didn't want to go anywhere. Anya and I had fun with Nutella... Chris wasn't invited, I'm selfish, DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! It was a great time to be alive.

Until she tried to eat me.

I don't know if she was trying to turn me on, or cannibalism turned her on but she would bite the fuck out of me. This sweet, innocent girl who was originally scared of me due to my tattoos was trying to, in my mind, bite huge chunks out of me in an apparently sexual manner. It was bad, I was not able to have full use of my right arm for over a month after I got back from Iraq after this trip because she bit me so hard on the inside of my elbow.

I would have been horrified if I wasn't getting pissed that she kept trying to eat me after I told her to stop. I have never in my life come as close to smacking a chick in the head as when she was doing the job that ruined my arm. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and that shit hurt.

Would I do it again... fuck yes.

She was hot, I am lonely and I have become more ok with cannibalism over the years... I would just have to ask her to try to refrain from eating me. Rough biting and scratching, that's ok... making my body INOP for more than a day... not ok.

But then again, it has been a while and in the words of my buddy, J. Barnes... At this point, I'd probably fuck a beehive.

One night we walk to a Mexican place to have some dinner before we head back to the apartment to DVD and Chill. We walk in the door and the Maitre d' has us walk all the way to the back of the establishment to check our coats. We are then shown back to the front to be seated. It is a nice restaurant and I am just dying to see how well Mexican is done in Russia, life is good.

We order drinks, I am a lucky man about town with a pretty girl about to order what I assume will be a close approximation of Mexican food.

Her phone rings, she answers, it is her roommate who is currently in Paris on vacation.  She answers it and I am not bothered because she told me about the vacation and surely she will be off the phone soon. She gets all smiley and starts blasting off all excited in Russian. Now I know a little bit of Russian, I read a bit more but I sure as fuck don't know enough for two bestie girlfriends talking about vacations worth of Russian so I am completely lost and losing interest in this turn of events by every tick of the clock... And there were a LOT of ticks.

We order food... still on the phone

We get the food... still on the phone

I am eating the food, hating life and thinking for the first time in my life about walking out on the date... still on the phone. I wonder if I could just leave her there on the phone and head back to the apartment or hit up the club.

I don't even remember if the food was good at this place, I was too livid to notice because I was paying for two but eating alone.

She finally finishes the food while I am thinking about how cold it is and if I really need that coat... still on the phone

She wants dessert... still on the phone... fuck dessert.

She has said like 5 words to me since getting on the phone and I hate this date but it was bitterly cold outside and if I go get my coat, she will see me leave because I will have to pass by her on my way out and I don't want her to get off the phone for my sake as she hasn't to this point.

Dessert comes... still on the phone...fuck phones.

She eats dessert... still on the phone... Alexander Graham Bell was a prick... fuck him too.

I get the check and sit waiting till she finally gets off the phone. I am just staring at her by this point thinking about how much I hate her friend and I hope she falls off the Eiffel tower and maybe Anya could fall with her...

She gets off the phone and I am beyond done with that night... if I had it in me to be an absolute prick, this would have been my shining moment.

I could not wait to get rid of her for the night, so I could calm down and go meet Chris at Golden Dolls. Unfortunately, for me. I am not a prick and am, somewhat, old school so as the pissed off gentleman that I was, I walk her home, tell her goodnight and shoot straight for the club to try to salvage some of my night... Ника (Nika) certainly helped make it better, I miss her too though she and I still talk.

I continued to see Anya during the trip, we had fun up to that date and I am rather forgiving, even with her trying to eat me. She was mostly enjoyable and very easy on the eyes in all manner of dress... or undress, as it were.

That miserable night prompted me to start asking questions before I will take a girl out and highest on that list is what do you do with your phone during a date.

I'll end up stabbing a motherfucker if I have to live through that bullshit again...

I was going to apologize to AGB's family but it turns out he really was kind of an asshole.

Always Carry a Towel.

Howdy,

I'm Chop.

I am 35 for another couple months, I am a Texan living in Missouri, USA and I am spinning up to do more traveling and adventuring and whatnot in the near future, so I thought I would get in on this whole newfangled blogging thing.

I currently own a gun shop (Patriot Gun & Outfitters) which does pretty well and a t-shirt company (MOAZ Tees) that doesn't. I also work for the Miller County Sheriff's Department as a dispatcher. My average day is about 16 hours between my shop and MCSD and sleep.

Prior to being back in Missouri I spent the last three years in and around Minot, North Dakota in the oilfields and before that I spent 4 years in Iraq as a contractor.

I have had a lifelong wanderlust which I blame on my mother. At an early age we would watch British Comedies and I spent my early years wanting to meet all these people and listen to their cool accents in real life.

I went to Iraq when I was 25 and it was the first time I had ever left the country. While I was there, I saw some pretty amazing things and met some of the best people I know.

Iraq afforded me another great thing... the ability to finally slake my need for travel and seeing the world. I came home more often than I wished, but I did get to see Russia, Amsterdam, Dubai, Thailand and The Philippines. While I was in North Dakota I also took a trip to Canada. Outside of a few stateside destinations, my favorite being Deadwood, South Dakota, I have not been able to travel much since 2009. I have decided to change that.

This blog will show my progress and the places I travel among anything else that interests me to talk about... which is a pretty extensive list.

I am always reading blogs and books about travel and looking up prices for living different places overseas and I. recently finished A Better Life for Half the Price: How to prosper on less money in the cheapest places to live by Tim Leffel which gave me lots of good information about various places around the world to live at for cheap. Information that I may relay in a later post.

I like cheap, cheap is my friend... I am a poor bastard after all.

I have talked to my brother, Chris about what I want to do and being the truly great person he is, he was on board with the decision to sell the shop so he could work on his projects and I could work on mine. He is no longer able to be there very often due to his schedule and my need to travel, I fear, is going to start causing my life to shorten if i don't hurry up and start doing what I believe I was always meant to do... not going all Genghis Khan and trying to the impregnate the world... yet... just seeing the world... for the moment, conquering comes with patience.

So, I am going to try my hand at long term travel. I plan on using the money I make from the shop as a cushion until I can line up some means to to make myself some funds at the first destination I plan on moving to for an unknown amount of time... (subject to change), The Philippines.

The Philippines have a lot of advantages outside of cost, which is pretty phenomenal...

A personal plus is the fact that my little brother Darwin and his family are from the Philippines and even though he is currently working in Dubai, UAE with his wife, I know that I can rely on the rest of the family for a little help if i need it.

The true reason that I have settled for the Philippines over Thailand, Bulgaria and several other places I have been looking at as my first stop is because I have also been talking to my brother R-Lo about moving his family there with me. He likes the sound of the cost of living too. I honestly don't think it will happen but I am hopeful. Even if it is after I go and pave the way for them to come there, I'd still be grateful to have him there, it has been too long since I saw him, his wife and my nephews.

It is hard to find anyone in the country without at least a basic understanding of English which is great for those who have no intention of learning any of the languages of the Philippines... or those who worry about traveling because they wont understand anyone... which is difficult to do these days.

There are 7,107 islands that make up the Philippines which means there is a TON of coastline (5th largest in the world) and a veritable shit-ton of things to do and see, all for cheap. The last time I was in the Philippines, I bribed the crew of the ferry we were taking from Cebu to Bohol to let my brother, his family and I drive the ferry... its dumb but it cost next to nothing and how many places in the world would even consider that.

Possibly the most famous part of the Philippines are the  throngs of short, tiny, gorgeous Filipinas who have a happy inclination to loving them some white guys or possibly foreign guys in general... but I'm honkey white so I have only experienced it one way... so suck it, you PC bastard. As a guy, if you are lonely, you can easily get taken in by this brown land of plenty and in some cases get taken. If you have a gut feeling that not everything is good then break it off. Filipinas are amazing girls and I hear all the time they are probably the best wives in the world but just be careful cause it is an odd thing getting so much attention after living in the states and not being Channing Tatum. It's easy to fall head over heels for the first person to treat you that way. I'm not saying that first person may not be the one for you... just saying, be careful... it is a completely different world than what you are used to if you have more than one experience with girls stateside.

I am currently reading The Grown-up's Guide to Running Away from Home: Making a New Life Abroad by Rosanne Knorr to see if I get any more tips on moving along with reading several blogs on moving, culture, night life and women. I have been looking through OLX for the prices of apartments and houses in different areas, not that I will pay for one online but the pricing is a good baseline for the first week or so when I have boots on ground to be able to actually see these places.

There are a few amenities I am looking for in a place and the only reason some of these make it to the list is because I have seen several places without 1 or all of them.
1. Good Internet... I have to make money somehow
2. Air Conditioning... I am not built for heat or humidity, rather... I know this sounds dumb as I am moving to a hot/humid country... I don't mind heat too much if I am doing something enjoyable... but if I am sitting in my house writing on this thing or working... or even worse, sleeping... i don't want to be sweating my danglies off.
3. A stove, I want to live in the Philippines like a local and not like a tourist, I plan to cook... and though I don't do it often, i like to cook.
4. A refrigerator... I don't care if i go to the market daily and never put food in the fridge... i may need it for all my orange soda and sweet tea during my online endeavors... I will find a use.
5. Washer for clothes... I know there is probably a local lady i could pay to do it but depending on how much that is, i would be better off doing it myself... a dryer would be superb too.

I guess that is it... this is who I am and my plan to work towards in the near future. I will post when new things develop or something new interests me enough to write about.

-Chop

I hope you enjoy the links, i do not agree with 100% of everything I linked to but I do understand where they are coming from. Please tell me what you think.